Do You Feel Guilty For Not Going Outside On A Beautiful Day?
Do You Feel Guilty For Not Going Outside On A Beautiful Day?
Lilacs bloom for only two weeks. Spring turns to summer. Summer passes fast. Leaves fall. Cold weather comes.
How could I not go out on a spring day and smell the lilacs? How could I not go out on a summer day and take in the warmth? Daylight is good for me. Touching grass is good for me. By touching the earth electrons enter my body and neutralize free radicals. Hugging trees is good for me. By touching my skin to a tree I connect to the great mycorrhizal network. Ancient truths flow through me. Suddenly I know things.
But today I want to stay at home. I am low energy. Is that not all the more reason to go outside? Guilt creeps up in me.
Guilt adds weight to the heaviness I already feel today. What for is this guilt?
Many of us live with a cloud of You Shoulds hovering over us.
It is understandable to want to ignore the unpleasant things.
But what happens when you want to avoid the good things?
This is when being authentic with yourself comes in. Be honest with yourself as to why you are trying to avoid the current You Should.
If it is an unpleasant action, ask yourself if it really must be done. Are you doing a favor for someone else that deep down you don’t want to do? Perhaps it is time to re-think doing that person favors. Or is the action a necessary stepping stone to a greater good? You may not want to do your taxes, but it is a stepping stone to peace. Something you will not have if you avoid it.
What if it is a pleasant action like going out and sitting in a park? What if it is a fun action like going out with your friends?
This takes even more authenticity. Perhaps there is underlying depression that needs addressing? Or perhaps you are drained and need to shut down.
If you are drained and feel like staying in bed, consider that sitting under a tree may in fact be more energizing than lying in bed. It takes effort to get dressed and go outside, but the payoff may be worth it.
However if you authentically want to stay in bed anyways, remember that the guilt is superfluous. Examine the guilt imposed by the You Should voice. Deconstruct it and let it go.
I stayed in bed today. I looked back over the last week. I went to the gym five times. I attended outdoor soccer games. I hiked. I waded through a river. I smelled flowers. There was no reason to feel guilt for not enjoying this one particular summer day.
I scrolled through videos. Read articles. And I typed out this story on my phone.
Do you ever feel guilt for not doing something good or fun?
When summer ends and the next school season starts, this mom will be returning fulltime to her desk and upgraded computer and writing. I look forward to publishing more here. I am glad I chose Substack. I am seeing this app grow and I want to grow with it. Thank you to all who support me. There is more to come.
Reflection on your inner goings on is one of the most self-empowering things you can do. In this article I wrote about Fear:
Great exploration! The last many years I've stopped watching football in the early fall. Not because i felt guilty for not being outside, rather because we get so few days like that. Football will be around and there will be days when watching it will be the most fun thing to do. Bitter cold days drinking silky hot chocolate and observing a game. 'Shoulds', 'have tos' and 'oughts'...give them up. Now I'm off for a run.