What Is A Dark Eureka Moment? How I Survived Mine
How It Feels. What To Do.
A moment of revelatory understanding usually floods us with elation and awe. We are energized uplifted and exhilarated. This is the standard eureka moment, Archimedes’ Eureka moment.
However there is such a thing as a Dark Eureka moment. It is often preceded by a feeling that something is not right. It may be accompanied by nausea or other uncomfortable somatic sensations.
In novels and movies it is usually portrayed as a waking up to a ghastly reality. For example Neo in the Matrix upon choosing the red pill discovers that humans are farmed in pods and used as a power source.
A dark eureka moment is a realization of something horrid that stuns and terrifies. It may be a realization about the world or the fate of humanity, but most often it is a realization about something in our personal lives. You discover that you have been swindled out of your life savings or that your spouse has betrayed you. You discover an illness or a dark family secret.
I had a dark eureka moment following a vivid dream.
I dreamt I was at a party in the woods with friends and colleagues. It was a younger me and not the middle aged me who was dreaming. We were sitting around a big fire. I was trying to entertain them with stories. But every time I started to tell a story, someone interrupted me to tell their own related story. The other person’s story always got praise. Every time a story ended I started to talk. Each time more enthusiastically. I learned in sales that enthusiasm is contagious.
No matter how I tried an interruption followed. Eventually I stopped trying. I sat and sipped beer. I pretended to not be offended. I even nodded and fake laughed as to not give away how insignificant I felt. A few beers later I walked away from the fire circle to lie on the grass and look at the stars.
I tried to convince myself that it is ok to fall asleep as one of my friends will wake me up when it is time to hike back. A voice kept asking, “what if they leave and not notice?”
Eventually I passed out. Yes, I fell asleep in my dream. How strange it is to dream of falling asleep when you are in fact asleep.
Sometime later I heard my friends scrabble about. I figured they were packing up and heading out. I was in that paralyzed sleep state when you sort of know you are sleeping but unable to move. I said to myself, “any minute now they will wake me.” Then there was prolonged silence. I must have passed out again. A coyote howled. I sat up. It was cold. The fire was out. I had no flash light.
I woke up in real life permeated with fear. It struck me: I don’t have real friends. No one in my friend circle wants to hear me. No one in my friend circle notices when I leave the room. No one in my circle checks up on me. No one cares if the coyotes get me.
This was during a time of financial uncertainty. The realization that if things go down I have no one to turn to filled me with dread. Dark thoughts flooded my mind. Self deprecating words formed on my tongue. How could you judge so poorly? You are an idiot. You are a stupid monkey.
I also felt great embarrassment and self disgust at how I tried to weave myself into lives that did not want me. It wasn’t one friend or one lover, but an entire circle.
We identify ourselves in relationship to others. When our circle falls our identity falls. To our primal mind it is on par with being left in the woods to fend for ourselves. My dream communicated a primal scenario.
It was time for my identity to fall. It wasn’t serving me. But it hurt.
I sat with those feelings. There was no other option. There were no more lies I could tell myself to cover up the red flags I ignored. Reality had spoken.
The consequences of accepting reality meant being alone until a higher version of me emerges. A dark eureka moment is a catalyst for a dark night of the soul. The higher version of oneself lies on the other side of the dark night. One must level up to make it to the other side.
Not everyone makes it to the other side. Not everyone levels up. Some crumble. Some die. Some slowly decay until their final death day comes which at that point is a welcome relief.
I chose to follow my inner voice. It guided me out of the wilderness. Here is a video about it:
So What To Do:
You will impulsively want to move like the old you. That cannot happen anymore. You must move like the You that is equal to the challenge before you. This will take getting in touch with your authentic self. Your authentic self is guided by higher wisdom. You must move in accordance with that wisdom. In a sense you are being summoned by your higher self. The hero in you is being summoned.
The challenge before you will feel impossible. That is how it feels when you are summoned by your higher self. If it felt easy, there would be no need for a levelling up.
What happens if you don't level up?
This depends on the situation, doesn't it?
Often it means getting stuck in a trauma loop. After a while the emotional impact of a situation wanes. You feel a bit better but you are weaker. Now a lesser storm can take you down.
Many people just get weaker and weaker. They live defeated. They drown themselves in distractions. They wither away.
Instead: Be Brave. The payoff is grand.
This article explains what to do when you find yourself residing in darkness:
To learn more about the sacred power of the Eureka moment read this:
Have you had a dark eureka moment? How did you deal with it? Do you feel that you are in touch with your authentic self?
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Seems common. I have/had a similar situation.
You have a unique perspective. I have / am having this moment. I too have come to the realization that I have no friends, no "safety net," so to speak. I am 100% alone in the world. It's truly terrifying. I've always known I am an alien who doesn't belong here. Not sure what to do.